How to Negotiate Your Salary Without the Guilt
According to Carnegie Mellon University economics professor Linda Babcock, co-author of Women Don’t Ask, men are four times more likely than women to ask for a raise—and when we do ask, we typically request 30% less than men do. In a study of 78 masters degree students, she found that just 12.5% of women negotiated for their starting salary, versus 52% of men.
The research, however, is conflicting. Using data collected from 4,600 Australian workers across more than 800 employers, the study from the University of Wisconsin in the US and the University of Warwick and Cass Business School in the UK found “no difference” in the likelihood of asking between the two genders.
Is the gender wage gap the result it a structural bias down to pure discrimination, the motherhood penalty, or are women generally lacking in the skills and confidence to ask for more? While the answer may be a complex combination of contributing factors, one thing is certain: despite efforts and campaigns by women’s rights groups to close the gap, the results for 2019 found that it had widened in favour of men, with 78% of the biggest companies in Britain reporting a gap.
So while the onus of responsibility isn’t on you alone to close the gender pay gap, the next time you do negotiate, you deserve to have the information you need to get the best results. Here are our top tips:
Step 1: Change Your Money Mindset: If you have ever found yourself under-selling yourself, asking for less than what you know you are worth, or doubting whether you even deserve this raise in the first place - you're the victim of negative money blocks. You can't confidently ask for more with a scarcity mindset or limited beliefs about money (we've written about our top tips for shifting your money mindset before). It might seem like a difficult or even impossible journey at first, but a positive money mindset is the foundation to your financial success, so it's worth putting the effort in!
Step 2: Do Your Research: Talk to people in your industry to get an idea of what they earn. What is the market rate for your position in your area? What are other companies offering their employees in terms of salary, benefits and perks? Network with colleagues of both genders inside your organization to help you frame your arguments for a raise. Take your time and gather information from a wide variety of resources. Make sure that what you ask for is in line with industry standards. According to Harvard Law School's negotiation research, when objective information is available prior to a pay-raise negotiation, such as the salaries of colleagues and peers in the same industry, women perform better at the bargaining table — so get researching!
Step 3. Stop Thinking that Negotiation = Conflict: If you see negotiation as a conflict, and you’re conflict-averse, that's a recipe for disaster right there. Instead, try to see your salary negotiation as a conversation. Once you shift your perspective on negotiations, you'll find it so much easier to have the conversation. It's also important to point out that your boss/employer/client expects this — negotiating salaries with employees is part and parcel of their job! You're not being intrusive, rude, or taking up their time - you're simply asking to be rewarded better for work that you do for them.
Step 4: Have a Prepared Script: Write down what you want to say and practice it. Chronicle your success and your ability to deliver proven results (with examples). It helps to visualize the conversation (or even role play it with someone else!). Make sure you talk to your boss about your ability to proactively problem-solve, explaining the value you’ve added to the business, for example, increased revenue/sales etc. Focus on the numbers and facts, and bring documentation if needed. When you're envisioning the conversation or practicing it out loud, it's also important to pay attention to your body language. Think of a powerful role model and try to channel that person. Think about your posture, tone of voice, and word choice. If you come to the negotiation meeting with the understanding of the value you bring (above and beyond the role), it'll be that much easier for you to communicate why exactly you deserve more money.
Step 5: Keep Your Head High: Confidence is essential to when negotiating. You must exude self-assurance, but for women, that often isn't easy. Women face unique challenges when it comes to negotiating - eg., we are often viewed as “unlikable” when we do it. We underestimate our professional value, and have been socialized to avoid assertiveness and confidence. But while these obstacles might make negotiating difficult, they should not stop you from trying! It might take some time for you to start believing in yourself, but you need to start some day - why not make that day be today!
Step 6: Listen to Our Podcast Episode of The Wallet with Viv: she tells us how she went about getting 3 promotions and 3 significant pay rises in the last six years and today she is going to share her journey to help us all, basically, get paid! We also wrote this article about negotiating for yourself and you can read another money story.
